Role Reversal - Revised Version
by RandomGerman
Summary: In the original Twilight series, Bella doesn't have a mind of her own. This is my take on how it could have been if she had chosen life over the sparkly world of the vampires. Will fate bring her and Jake together? This is not just another love stoy! Starts in beginning of first book and shows how our favorite characters grow a backbone and personality. Revised version.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the newly revised and reposted version of my original story "Role Reversal". Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**This goes for all the chapters: I do not own any Twilight characters nor themes, Stephenie Meyer does. I just make them fall in love and develop their personalities.**

**Unwritten is (as any other songs quoted here) also not mine, though it might be a good description of my life when I started writing this story before graduating high school.**

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_I am unwritten,_

_can't read my mind,_

_I'm undefined_

_I'm just beginning,_

_the pen's in my hand,_

_ending unplanned._

_Staring at the blank page before you,_

_Open up the dirty window,_

_Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find._

_Reaching for something in the distance,_

_So close you can almost taste it,_

_Release your inhibitions._

_Feel the rain on your skin,_

_No one else can feel it for you._

_Only you can let it in,_

_No one else, no one else_

_Can speak the words on your lips,_

_Drench yourself in words unspoken,_

_Live your life with arms wide open,_

_Today is where your book begins._

_The rest is still unwritten._

_I break tradition,_

_sometimes my tries_

_are outside the lines._

_We've been conditioned to not make mistakes,_

_but I can't live that way!_

_(Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten)_

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Chapter 1: No Answers at Hand – Edward's point of view

While I was normally the epitome of calm and collectedness, meeting my singer had certainly unhinged me. I knew that this was something that wasn't easy to deal with. Carlisle had told me about this and Jasper had killed his singer almost immediately. But I prided myself in having more self-control than my brother. If I could even call him that. His thoughts often betrayed that while he felt safe with us and Alice made him happy, he didn't really feel like he was our sibling. He certainly didn't respect Carlisle as a leader but treated his decisions rather like recommendations. I was not going to give in as easily as my weakest brother, but I surely wished I had never met this human girl. She was the one who came here disturbing my peace and troubling my conscience.

Never before had I felt such a violent need to kill anyone, to bite, bite, bite and drain her. When she walked into that room, it took all I had to leave her alive, to leave all of those poor witnesses live. It had been a Tuesday Biology lesson, but I couldn't for the life of me remember anything but the red haze clouding my vision and trying like never before to rule in the beast within. I had not killed her during three of those lessons now but I couldn't bear to go to school anymore after last Tuesday. I had been so close to killing her then…

Why did she even have to show up? Why her? She was nothing special, for all I knew. Her father lived here, of course. I had heard the rumors about a new girl being in school from everyone. There are few things which could really surprise a vampire like me, especially one who knows how to read the minds of everyone around him. So I did not technically hear them tell me as they avoid our kind, but I listened to their buzzing thoughts. They were so stupid and primitive, they jumped at every rumor, any news at all. What in the world did they have a brain for?

I wasn't at all excited to meet just another human when I heard the others' thoughts after we returned to school from our 'camping' trip. I thought her to be nothing but some poor girl suddenly in the limelight because she brought some life into the dull trot of school life. Most likely she was stupid and loved gossip like the rest of my classmates.

Time proved me wrong.

Over the decades I thought that human blood had lost its appealing smell to me, that I was somehow different from all the other vampires. I had been proven wrong on that firm belief as well. This fact made me feel like the soulless monster I really was underneath the glamorous exterior. Not even music could calm me down now. I was so beaten by my thoughts, so miserable, that it failed to have the usual calming effect on me.

In order to calm myself any other way, I tried to be rational. _You've met your singer, so her blood is very appealing to you, _I thought to myself. That part was logical. Jasper had told me that it was harder to fight killing her yet because we were denying our true nature. Maybe he was right and it would be the easiest to just get it over with, to give in. The thought of having her blood on my hands, running down my throat, was all it took to detach from reality. A red haze began to spread over my vision and I slipped into a violent fantasy.

I was hovering over her, her eyes full of terror at my bared teeth. Venom dripped from them and filled my mouth. So mouthwatering! Bite her, drain her, it screamed within me. I relished in her terror, it would make this so much more exciting. I willingly gave into the urge, grabbed her throat and slowly sank my teeth through her thin skin which was pale from fear. Her heart was throbbing hard and she started crying. This made me even thirstier. I moaned as I hit her artery and drained her until nothing was left. SO GOOOD! All the while she kept screaming, but the sound soon ended in a gurgling whimper of pure terror and pain.

Restraining arms brought me back into reality. Alice, of course. She had probably just seen me murder, seen me drink that delicious, hot blood.

"_Edward? It's okay_," Alice soothingly thought. My eyes snapped back into focus as Jasper hit me with a wave of clinically detached calm.

Hate and self-loathing washed over me when I realized what I had just been thinking about. Not only thinking, but planning, I realized as I looked around myself. I had unconsciously drifted as far as the driveway without noticing it. My sister had been able to stop me, but had she not had a vision of this, the girl might have been dead five minutes from now. _Oh, no!_

I didn't want to talk about this with them, I didn't want to hear their thoughts, their understanding. For how could they understand this if even I couldn't? I nodded to Alice and ran to my room with inhuman speed.

Why couldn't the girl go back to where she came from? I didn't want anyone to do with my body what she was doing by merely existing. She turned me into a monster, a killing machine. She forced me to give into my evil nature. But it was not only this strange longing for her blood that unsettled me. It was also that I could not read her thoughts. Of all the possible people to block my ability, she was the one where it did the most harm. If I could read her thoughts it would be so much easier to think of her as a person, not as a blood bag. Maybe I would have to start thinking of her as Bella, as a person. Without my gift, I was a little helpless. It had guided me through all situations, good and bad, for decades now.

My determination to stay away from human blood had not been shaken for almost a hundred years, but all solutions to this problem were unbearable. What to do?

Kill her? _I didn't think that I'd be able to live with my conscience!_

Leave? _And start with High School all over? Leaving meant making my family suffer for my weakness._

Live with it? _It would be hell. But I had to do it, didn't I?_

What was even more unsettling was the strange curiosity I felt regarding her personality. Why on earth couldn't I read her mind? She wasn't like a riddle that could be cracked by thinking about it. More than anything I wanted to know what she was thinking. It would help to protect her from me. She was so fascinatingly different from anyone I had ever known or heard of. First of all, when I had given her the death-glare in the cafeteria, she had been frightened. But then, in Biology, she tried to talk to me. And had been really hurt when I didn't.

I wanted to know more about her with every second that passed by. Not knowing her secret frustrated me. Infuriated me. Who was she to turn me into a monster and not reveal anything about herself?

I'd talk to her. I'd find out. I had given her the silent treatment for three Biology classes now, unmoving and not daring to breathe and maybe that it was time to do something about my problem. I would ask Alice and Jasper to change their schedules so they would be with me. Even if they wouldn't let _me _transfer, Jasper had his ways to make them accommodate his needs and wishes. And we had all gone to school enough times that it shouldn't matter to them which classes they were taking. Maybe I should leave too, at least for a few days to calm myself. I'd return to school the next week, maybe on Thursday. That was one week from then and should give me enough time to mentally prepare myself for this.

Immortality really was a curse beyond imagination. Speed. Beauty. What did it matter if I was damned and not even able to rest just once? To forget? If these few advantages meant that I would be a monster until the day I died? And only hell awaited me thereafter?

Nothing could take this blemish from my soul even if I managed to resist my singer for all of her human life. Even if I resisted killing Bella Swan.

**OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Storms Ahead – Bella's point of view **

'Okay, calm down, Bella,' I thought to myself as I prepared for bed. It was much too late to still be awake, but I just couldn't seem to stop wondering. There was a storm of thoughts in my head, or rather a hurricane. Random thoughts kept popping up and my mind was a tangled mess of chaotic associations and feelings that were all screaming and shouting at me to listen to them.

I shook my head as if to chase them away and took a deep breath to steady myself. It seemed to work- for maybe ten seconds. Then my thoughts returned to the mysterious person that was Edward Cullen. Yet again, as though they were tiny planets attracted by his gravity or much rather his strange golden eyes. They were the windows to the enigma that was his soul.

Those eyes… They were too honey-colored to belong to a human being. Every time he looked at me, looked through my very self to the bottom of my soul, I forgot how to breathe, trapped in his gaze. And if he had asked me for my name while dazzling me like that, I knew I couldn't have answered.

Because I struggled to speak. Every time. His siblings were much like him in that regard, they just didn't look at me.

Although his eyes stopped me still - or maybe because they did - they creeped me out. Not just slightly, but a lot. I didn't want a stranger like him to look into my soul and then avert his eyes with a disgusted look on his face. I especially didn't appreciate the power he seemed to have over me and the other girls in school. I had seen the way they looked at him as if he was a Hollywood star. He was much less approachable, though, and had this way of crushing my already close to non-existent ego under his foot without a second thought. Maybe he didn't even realize how hurtful his behavior during Biology lessons could be. I wasn't made of rock!

My heart sunk. Biology. The most dreaded and most anticipated hour of my new schedule in this unfamiliar environment that had once been so familiar. I saw him every Tuesday and Thursday in that class. Except that he hadn't turned up at all the last two times. It seemed that he had simply disappeared after our class last Tuesday. Before that, he sat next to me three times with that awful expression on his face.

Before every lesson would hope he didn't hate me; that my imagination was over-reactive. And when he so evidently did hate me, it hurt even more. It cut into the core of me like a rusty knife to have a stranger hate and distrust me so deeply without an obvious reason. What had I done? Time and time again I wracked my brain for a possible cause of his strange behavior. Of course, it wasn't just that. It was also because it was him who wrinkled his nose whenever I was close. Maybe I could've ignored the hatred of an unpopular and spiteful girl – I could almost hear my mother whispering "She's just jealous, honey"- but it was more difficult with an otherwise polite and handsome boy.

I tried to tell myself to forget about him and thought about the other new people I had met so far. I was sure that I was going to make some friends here. Maybe I was even going to love Forks, Washington, like I did in my childhood, before it became tainted with memories of my parents' separation. It's not like I could force everyone to be friends with me. I could only wait and make do with what I had, which was up until now a bunch of nice and nosy class-mates.

I tried to forget about Edward's eyes filled with loathing and his nose wrinkled up in disgust. I just wanted to go to sleep in my new home, the space I was going to share with my father Charlie in the foreseeable future.

And in the end I did fall asleep. I noticed my train of thoughts becoming more and more jumbled, but they never really left the one who had so suddenly entered my life and made me miserable without ever doing anything but giving me the evil eyes. He had turned me from plain-old-Bella to the-new-girl-he-hates-with-a-passion-just-because- she-exists.

At night, I dreamt about a figure in the woods. I could only see its eyes in the darkness that surrounded us. It was stood in the middle of a meadow and seemed to wait for something to happen. Suddenly, it looked at me and ran away like a scared deer.

Desperation gripped me: I had to know what had startled it so. But no matter how hard I tried, how fast I ran, I could not follow it. No matter how hard I tried to see through the darkness, my eyes perceived no danger. Was it me it had run from?

Waking up the next morning, the curiosity I had felt and a tingling fear stayed with me, as if my negative emotions from last night had followed me into the next day. I was often haunted by strange dreams if my daytime life was confusing or hurting me. Worst of all, the image of Edward Cullen's hateful face seemed to have imprinted itself into my memory after yesterday

This was really going to be a day out of a nightmare! First a dream that left me anxious and then Mr. Hateful himself only a few hours later, if he could stand to come to school and see me this rainy Thursday…

It was before eight o'clock and I was already in a bad mood.

To make matters worse, I hit my toe on the bedpost on my way to the bathroom. My classmate and his problem with me or even with himself had influenced me so that I couldn't even look where I was walking anymore. This had happened before and my mom often called me clumsy. The truth is that I am only clumsy when distressed or out of my comfort-zone.

If this continued for much longer, I was going to have to talk about this with someone, either his siblings or my classmates. But as long as I could I was going to avoid either option. I was determined to deal with this alone. No one was going to walk all over me again like they did in grade school.

I am Isabella Marie Swan and I am really hoping to turn my life around and be myself for once. Maybe coming to Forks once again is the chance I have been waiting for all along.

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**I would love to know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: A Pang of Jealousy – Edward's point of view**

The next week I was rather proud of myself when I returned to my room after school. Yes, I had run away for almost week to come to terms with what was happening, but I had also managed to resist Bella Swan's blood and even talked to her. Jasper and Alice were now with me in Biology, so they could monitor my emotions and future and I could control myself and learn to understand Bella better through their thoughts. I knew that I was putting a huge strain on Jasper by making him feel my bloodlust for my singer but he seemed to be fine with it as long as I didn't kill her publicly. He supported the idea of leaving Forks though, saying that he couldn't stand to take the risk I pose to her life and to our security.

I really was learning to see Bella as a person and understand her better. Yet every time I saw her and could once again not penetrate her mind, I became frustrated and even more curious about the things she was thinking about. Was she thinking about me? Did she think my behavior strange? And how in the world was she blocking me from reading her?

It drove me insane to the point where I kept regular tabs on her friends' thoughts only to find a clue as to what was so special about her.

I had to find out what it was about her that made her impervious to my gift. That was one of the reasons that I finally talked to her. One of them. I have to admit that I mainly did it because I couldn't stand the pain I was inflicting on her anymore.

Yes, pain. It was obvious whenever she saw me. Her curiosity, the stares. She probably thought that I hated her. And Jasper cleared up the last of my doubts by sending me a burst of her emotions colored with his own dose of condescending outrage at my behavior with her.

Well, I did hate her in a way, for making me feel like the monster I had really been all this time. But it wasn't her fault that she was a living, breathing reminder of my shortcomings. And I liked watching her, I liked her personality. First of all, she didn't seem to want to be here in class next to me. But still she was here, never complaining or glaring back at me. Then again, the way she would chatter happily when really feeling sad on the inside. She was such a social and loving creature!

When Jasper was not relying her emotions to me – he said that some things ought to remain private if at all possible – I had to read her facial expressions to tell what she might be thinking about. Her face was interesting and held an elegant beauty and it was like an open book to me. Surprisingly, I knew how she felt the very instant I had an unobstructed view of her eyes. This didn't clue me into the reasons behind her feelings, though.

Her eyes were chocolate brown gates to her soul. She definitely had a beautiful soul. I could tell that even without ever having talked to her. To some this might sound stalkerish, but I had to get to know every aspect of her. I followed her home, watched her interact with her father and took some of her clothes with me to get used to her smell. So far it seemed to work. I was doing every possible thing in order to avoid killing her.

Talking to her had been the next step. I had to get to know her without scaring her, as seeing her fear could spur on the monster. I couldn't let her get so close either that she would want to interact with me more than necessary. Being close to me or even in the vicinity more than absolutely necessary was dangerous to her. It was all about finding the right balance.

How exactly I was going to keep this fragile balance I didn't know yet. During our short conversation in class she awed me even more than before and I felt as though there was so much more of her personality left to uncover. I hadn't thought humans capable of captivating me so.

**OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO ****…Flashback…**** OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo** OoO

"Sorry that I haven't properly introduced myself yet, I was feeling unwell. My name is Edward. You must be Bella?" I offered her at the beginning of our lesson.

She looked at me with a confused expression and Jasper sent me a wave of her panicky confusion. It soon dawned on me why this was: I had given myself away. Of course I shouldn't know that she preferred being called that. All the others had first approached her as Isabella or asked for her name. The minds of those who knew her called her Bella now and it had just rubbed off. I couldn't ignore their constant buzz of thoughts, like I couldn't ignore knowledge. And I had spent the last two weeks obsessing over her, so the name stuck, but she didn't have to know that.

"I heard Mike Newton call you Bella" I explained to her, not quite lying, which wasn't the smartest move. I involuntarily grimaced. He had been all over her for the past few days. But not because he really thought of her as the wonderful person she undoubtedly was, but because she was new and therefore exciting. This was something that I could not understand and would even call lack of respect and disgusting.

It was just the hint of a grimace, but she saw it nevertheless. Which astonished me. What else had she noticed?

The minutes went by in a blur as I talked to her. Only its content stayed in my mind.

She was here so her mother could be with a professional baseball player called Phil. She sacrificed her own well-being for the happiness of others. Which supported my earlier theory. Although I could not read her mind, this conversation told me one simple thing: Bella was good. A good person. Someone whose company was enjoyable.

For the first time since I had first met her, since that dreaded day in the cafeteria, my thirst was in the back of my mind. I was content. I was happy with just being there in class and talking to her.

I was pulled out of my thoughtfulness by her sudden question. "Why do you hate me so much?" I was taken by surprise. "Bella, I do not hate you." I looked into her eyes, for I knew my eyes' effect on humans.

I was not disappointed. She stopped breathing, her eyes widened and her lovely cheeks filled with color. This effect was somewhat a boost for my ego. And interestingly, this boost was intensified by the fact that it was her who blushed. There were not many humans I ever took the effort to get to know and like.

Our non-verbal exchange was interrupted by our teacher starting the lesson. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief and turned to the front of the class. We didn't speak again until the end of the lesson when I told her "Someday, I'll explain," and left the room. There was nothing else to be said.

She called something after me in an angry tone of voice. It sounded like "Why can't we just get it over with now?" but I hesitated only briefly. There was just no way that I could've stayed any longer in that room. Too many of my own thoughts were chasing each other through my mind, as always accompanied by the clamor of many more. And while I was usually able to think about many things at once, this time it was just too much. Even my brain had its limits.

I sat down in my car (I had come by myself this morning, to think) and let myself argue with my consciousness.

I was not sure if I should have said the last thing to her and just left. I was supposed to talk to her, make everything alright and then stop minding. Now I was afraid I had made her more curios than I could handle. I would have to talk to my brother about this later. His assessment of Bella's emotions would maybe help me deal with this brand new possible problem.

And how could I just leave her be now that I was okay with her company? With every question of mine she had answered, ten new ones had popped into existence and into my mind.

My thoughtfulness was interrupted when Bella exited the building with a very angry look on her face. Angry or sad. I was just about to run over to her and apologize, when I saw him.

One of those kids from the wolf tribe, but I wasn't going to let that carry me away.… He was a rather tall native guy, talking to her. At closer inspection I saw that he was Billy Black's son, Jacob. We had met before to get to know each other. It was part of the treaty, but I don't think his father clued him in to our true nature yet. At least Jacob didn't take his father's words seriously when we were introduced.

When I saw the smile of recognition spread on her face, I felt a strange hurt in my chest. Like something had been taken away from me. I had come to think of her as _my_ singer and my responsibility. If she were friends with Jacob Black, I would have even more reasons to stay away from her. That was good, I told myself. "This has to be beneficial," I mumbled to myself, as if to convince myself. The truth was that I did not like to think of the two of them together in any sense. I didn't like that I would have to keep my distance now more so than ever, either.

Maybe it was protectiveness that made me feel so strange and angry when I saw them hug and smile. Maybe she really had bewitched me on top of turning me into a beast. Their familiarity hurt. Her smile, her easiness with him. And most of all, the happy look she gave him as she looked back at him over her shoulder. She would never look at me that way. No one but another soulless monster ever would.

That stupid mongrel just stood there with a huge smile on his face. Only the trail of saliva was missing to complete the picture. A drooling puppy.

Angrily I turned the ignition and sped homewards.

I didn't want to admit it, but I still felt a definite pang of jealousy.

**OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Dazzled By Her Smile – Jacob's point of view**

"I'm heading to the grocery store, dad. You need anything?" I hollered back into the kitchen, already halfway out of the door.

"You could bring some sausages for our barbecue at the beach next weekend, son," my dad Billy responded.

Oh, well. So I would actually have to go to the store. I didn't know why I was being so secretive, but somehow I didn't want my dad to know where I was really heading: To hang around Forks high school. I definitely needed an excuse if I really met Bella, so I might as well give my father the same excuse for leaving. If I had actually told him where I was heading, he'd have given me his "really, son?" face and have told me to just go to visit her at home.

Yeah… Like that was going to happen. I was way too much of a chicken for that. Well, if it came to her, I was a chicken. Not that I usually got scared easily. But the two of us had history and I didn't want to look as though I came crawling back to her if she really didn't want to be my friend anymore. She had moved away from Forks when we were still children after her parents' divorce.

It had certainly looked like Bella didn't want to stay in contact when she stopped responding to my clumsy, heartfelt and hand-written 'letters' that later turned into more considerate stories of my everyday life. She didn't return to our town the next summers to visit her dad either. Poor Charlie, her cutting herself off from all of the people who knew and loved her must have hit her own father the hardest.

I gave myself a last check in the mirror before I rushed through the door and into my Rabbit. Looking presentable was the least I could do if I didn't want to look like a stupid fool for missing my childhood friend and crush.

**OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO**

There it was: Forks high school, right in front of me. The drive had gone by in a blur of uncertainties while I had tried to figure out what I would say if I saw her. "Hey, you're back in town. Cool, I didn't know that!" That was way too… nonchalantly. I needed something that revealed how much I really cared about her being here and that didn't sound pathetic enough to scare her away.

I got out of my car just as the bell rang. I had gotten out of school early as it was a Thursday, giving me time to drop off my things at home and drive into town. Suddenly, I was wide awake, my adrenaline-spiked blood pulsing through my veins much too quickly. I could hear my own heart beating painfully against my ribs. I was nervous as heck about this. I had never done anything like this before, but I had to keep it cool.

And there she was, leaving the building alone. Perfect for my purposes; if she had been surrounded by a group of her new friends I might have backed out of the endeavor. I recognized her at once. She had grown a lot in the last years but still had the same facial expression. There was no mistaking her, although I had last seen her five years ago and despite her now being smaller than me. She had really grown up into a beautiful girl. My heart ached for me to run over there and get this over with.

But I couldn't, this delicate matter had to be approached with caution. Self-consciously I walked over to her, as if crossing her path by accident.

"Hey, Bella!" She turned her head and looked around. That's when I saw that she had evidently had a bad day. There was hurt visible in her eyes and her expression was down-trodden.

"Bella?" I asked carefully. Finally, she saw me and her mouth formed a little 'oh'. She stopped herself from saying it, but it was clearly there. I grinned at her and chuckled under my breath at her surprised expression. "Is everything okay? You don't exactly look like you enjoyed Forks High today." I told her and proceeded to ask her what I had come here for when she shrugged half-heartedly. It didn't seem like she wanted to talk about it.

"Remember me?" I was really hoping for an affirmation in that moment. I just had to know that I had been mistaken, that she hadn't forgotten about me when she left this town. I was so nervous that I just blabbed out my cover-story even though recognition spread over her face and she hadn't asked me about it. "I was just around the block to get some groceries, so I thought I'd stop by to see you. Dad told me you were back in town for a while…" I finished off, making it sound like a question.

Her face lit up even more at that. "Sure. I remember you, Jacob. And yeah, I'll be staying for 'a while'. At least until graduation and then I'll see where I am heading from there." Excitement spread through my body. When she said my name like that, she reminded me of the past. Maybe we had a shot at being just Bells and Jake again, best friends forever. "Cool!" This had escaped my mouth before I was able to stop myself.

She tried to hide her smile at my over-eagerness and self-consciously tugged a loose strand of hair behind her ear and looked up at me. She looked so adorable when she did that. Then she stopped closer to me and hugged me carefully. "I really missed you Jake," she murmured and a grin spread on my face as I let go of her.

"It's good to know someone here. The people in school," she stopped there and looked around as if to check that no one was listening to her, "they seem to think that I'm some kind of circus exhibition. I mean, they all stare at me just because I'm existing. And the worst thing is, they all know my name. 'You must be Isabella,'" she imitated with such a cute angry look on her face that I just had to laugh with her. All the while my heart seemed to swell from just listening to her. This was so much like the old days that it felt surreal.

This moment was when I decided that I would make her comfortable here. I wanted her to be happy and content and laughing because of me.

"If you… want some change, Bells… We're having a beach party next week on Saturday. If you want to hang out like we did in grade school minus the sand castles…" I let the sentence linger in the air and hoped that she would take the bait.

"Great, I'll be there." Awesome! "Are some of your friends going to be there? I don't remember their names, but they were always so funny," she asked me.

"Sure, sure, pretty much all of the La Push people," I answered, falling back into my more relaxed manner of speaking. I had tensed up at seeing her at first but now I was just fine.

I was really excited at the prospect of spending some time with her and I would have rather had her all to myself after all this time without seeing each other. I didn't tell her that, though. "So I'll be seeing you then, great!" I said instead.

"It was nice to see you again, I'm really looking forward to next week" she said and we hugged goodbye before she walked away with a smile on her face. I watched her with radiant joy. This was the closest I had could have gotten to having my friend back. We were going to be fine. I quietly said to myself "Me too" as I watched her walk away.

Suddenly, she glanced back at me over her shoulder and turned around. "Oh, you didn't say. When do you want me to be there?" she asked with laughter in her eyes. The sadness of earlier was gone completely.

"Five, First Beach," was all I was able to call out, overwhelmed by the dazzling look she gave me. Obviously I wasn't as over my childhood crush on her as I thought. Laughing again, she turned back around and continued on her way to her old truck.

When I had recovered after a second, there was a definite spring in my step as I was heading for my car.

On the way home, when I was almost back to La Push, I remembered that I still had to get those sausages for dad. I quietly laughed to myself and u-turned back to Forks.

I just couldn't wait until the next time we would meet.

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	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Not Done Yet – Bella's point of view

That day I left the school fuming with anger. What in the world was up with Cullen? It was really great that he finally talked to me, but it didn't help the least bit to answer any of the questions I had. On the contrary, I had more of them buzzing around in my head.

All of the questions that he had asked me! As if he were suddenly interested in my life after treating me like he did before. I hadn't gotten to ask him anything. It was as though he didn't want to reveal anything about himself. I wasn't complaining about the fact that he didn't glare at me any longer, but it had been frustrating, especially the last thing he told me. "Someday, I'll explain"

Whenever I asked him a simple thing about his family or background, he pulled away and kept on shooting questions at me. It was nice to talk to him, because he was a good listener, don't get me wrong.

But still. I wanted to know what it was that he was evidently keeping from me. What was it that gave him such ridiculous mood swings?

There was definitely something up with him. Maybe even with his whole family. I'd had enough time to come up with too many theories as to why they were so different from the other students: They never ate at school. They kept to themselves. They were all pale and beautiful. They lived together as a family, but _dated_ each other. I know, you can't stop your feelings. But it was just plain _weird_. Honestly.

What bothered me most was the hateful way that Edward had looked at me that first day at lunch. The way he had kept himself away from me in Biology. Now he talked to me, but did that mean that he didn't hate me?

No.

Yet another riddle crossed my mind. Why had he known my name? He claimed he had heard it from Mike. Bella, not Isabella. He had been the first and only one to call me that without my urging.

Mike of all people.

As if _they_ would ever talk to someone like him. Like me. Somehow, I didn't believe him. And what confused me most was the disgusted look on his face when he said "Mike Newton". I didn't realize that they even knew each other. I mean, I had been surprised about Mike's reaction when I had asked him about the Cullens earlier. But I hadn't figured that they apparently had some rivalry thing going on. So I dropped the subject, answered his questions as well as I could and waited for the right moment.

I knew that I had only one chance to ask him, because any other personal question as an introduction would have made him stop. I had to get all my hurt, my questions, my curiosity to him in one simple sentence.

Yet it was very hard to ask. "Why do you hate me so much?" I blurted out. I willed him to answer this simple, yet complicated question for me.

I was taken by surprise when he answered "Bella, I do not hate you." But why did he treat me this way, then? _Why?_

Just when I was about to ask him about his behavior and the odd reasons he might have for it, he turned around fully to look at me.

It was as though Edward had unleashed a hurricane inside of me. His eyes had a beautiful topaz color and seemed to smolder at me. My heart missed a beat, I stopped breathing and blushed. It wasn't fair at all that he had this power over me. The power to capture me, to make me forget my anger and worries. I even felt a little dizzy all because of his eyes.

Their power scared me. Obviously there was something off with them, something I couldn't place in words. It unsettled me. Just as I felt chills crawl up my back, the bell rang and he pulled away with an almost inaudible sigh.

"Someday, I'll explain," he simply added and left me behind with my freshly increased number of questions. Whatever he was doing to me wasn't healthy. He pretended to open himself up to me in a conversation, then just rushed out on me the next moment. Which left me to my scrambled thoughts. Whenever I thought about him, there were strong feelings. Fear, worry, anger, curiosity…

And never did he do anything to untangle my thoughts or feelings, but left me to more confusion.

Arrogant. That is what he probably was. He thinks that he is better than me, that I have no right whatsoever to know about his life, his reasons for hating me or randomly talking to me. Or maybe he didn't want me to know the truth.

Who knew what he was feeling for me and why? Mostly, he would just glare at me. But then again, he had been really curious about my life. How could he care about someone he had glared at a week before?

He just made no sense to me. And he was definitely arrogant. Edward seemed to think that he was the one to decide on everything. Whether he ignored me or talked to me, whether he would ask me questions or answer them. Now he wanted to be the one to decide upon the time he would explain his behavior to me. He had admitted that he had behaved strangely, but I seriously doubted that he was going to explain anything to me. It just didn't seem to be his type of thing at all.

But I wasn't done with Edward Cullen yet. I would get him to talk to me. There was a strong need for answers in me, a need that grew stronger by the minute. As I stomped out of the building, my fury resolved to determination. Whoever he was, he had no right to treat me this way.

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"Hey, Bella!" a husky voice pulled me out of my thoughtfulness. My thoughts had absorbed me so completely that I hadn't quiet looked around me. So I paused to take in my surroundings and was surprised when I couldn't immediately identify the speaker.

There weren't many people that I had gotten to know yet and only the people I knew were calling me anything but Isabella. And I had been quite positive that I would recognize their voices. It was a deep, male voice that I didn't know. It wasn't Mike's, Ben's or Eric's. And definitely not Edward's. It was too hoarse for that. Not that it was a hoarse voice, but Edward's was just flawless. And never nearly as nervous as the voice implied the unknown guy to be.

"Bella?" That is when I saw him: Tall, lanky, tanned would be the easiest description. As my eyes zoomed in on his concerned face I recognized him. It had to be Jacob Black, Billy's son. He had fixed up my truck for me. I felt gratitude wash through me.

He had changed since the last time I had seen him, his frame had stretched and he had filled out. His silky black hair was tied back in a ponytail and his face wore a worried and caring expression. His skin was slightly flushed underneath the russet color, as if he had been running.

"Everything okay?" he asked me with emotion in his voice. I cursed that my face gave my emotions away so easily. I nodded encouragingly, not really wanting to talk about the things I had on my mind right now. "Remember me?" Of course I remembered Jacob. How could I not? Again, worry was apparent on his face. I caught myself smiling at his unnecessary fear.

I had spent most of my childhood summer holidays with his twin sisters Rachel and Rebecca and with him. They are both quite a bit older than me, but their father Billy is one of the closest friends of Charlie, so they figured we'd be friends, which we actually grew to be. But as well as we got along after being set up to play, it was nothing compared to how inseparable I quickly became from their youngest brother. Jacob had been my best friend growing up and we had kept in contact amazingly long for kids after I moved away with Renee, until my twelfth birthday maybe. It was at the time I decided to sever my ties to the past that I stopped answering his letters and finally, one day they just stopped coming. I still had the ones he sent me somewhere in a box hidden away. I tried to think of how old he was right now. Younger than me, anyways… From what I knew, he must have been 16.

His question startled me. Suddenly I realized that he shouldn't be at our High School. Jacob was one of the Quileutes, a native from La Push. La Push is a reservation very close to Forks, but they have their own High School despite the small population. What was he doing here, at Forks High School at this time of day? Shouldn't he be at school?

My pause must have unsettled him, because the next few sentences were said a bit too nonchalantly. Maybe he had read my face, too. Usually, it was annoying the heck out of me because I felt as though everyone was able to read my thoughts. But this time, my apparent confusion saved me some explaining and asking the right questions. "I was just around the block to get some groceries, so I thought I'd stop by to see you. Dad told me you were back in town for a while…" He let the sentence hang in the air like a question. I finally answered all of his questions at once and told him I was here to stay.

His face lit up at my words. He had always been smiley and easy to be around, and I could recall him being a really sunny, happy person. I smiled back at him, but then remembered to hide it. He might have taken it as mocking, though I enjoyed that he cared for _me _as a person. I really had to talk to someone about a few things that were on my mind, so I started dumping all of my lesser worries on him. Cullen I left out, but mentioned all the rude stares, the embarrassment and the whole "Isabella"- issue. Jacob laughed his hearty laugh at that. He wasn't called _Isabella_, after all! But I involuntarily had to laugh with him. In a way, their behavior was just ridiculous.

Somehow it was funny that two people as shy as the two of us could have such a pleasant conversation. He seemed to be happy to just be and didn't glare at me or ask invasive questions.

So, when he asked me to come to a barbecue at La Push with him, I gladly agreed. It would be some change and he was fun to be around. Maybe it really could be like it used to be again.

Funny that I happened to discover how much I had missed him and this aspect of his personality only after I cut him out of my life all that time ago. His sisters were probably off to college right now, but I wasn't sure. I was sure that I had lost them as friends forever. If they were still here, they surely would've stopped by with Jake or come to see me when Billy came over the other day to take Charlie fishing.

"Are some of your friends joining?" I asked him to keep the conversation going, still caught up in memories of our shared past. "Sure, sure, pretty much all of the La Push people." _Sure, sure._ No one else ever seemed to say that…

When I finally left, I suddenly remembered that I didn't even know at what time and where the barbecue would take place. I had been so wrapped up in the talking! As I turned around to ask, Jacob was bouncing so much with joy that it was infectious. Could my simple "I'll be there" really have made him that happy? It must have.

"Five, First Beach," he called after me. I whirled around again and left for my truck. I couldn't help but smiling when I realized that he liked me for who I was, not because I was the new girl. And he certainly didn't have mood swings. I couldn't help but thinking that maybe I should ask him to turn up like that more often.

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	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Waves and Moonlight – Bella's point of view

When I got home that Friday, I finally started writing my English essay, which I had been postponing for the past few days. We were supposed to write about the future, our own future, to be precise. This was a delicate issue for me because I had, frankly stated, no idea what I'd like to do once I was done with school. I hadn't even had a dream job since I was eight. I had wanted to be a firefighter then. So I scrambled together a few vague sentences about going to college and building a house, knowing it would be awkward if anyone asked me about it.

I had no great master-plan, but the essay had gotten me to think about the things I really wanted for _myself_. Charlie wasn't one to interfere with my plans or schedule, so I was for once free to think about this calmly without my mom giving me tips. They were well-meant, but didn't help me to figure things out myself. Renee had wanted me to be with her, to go to college and earn a living and maybe get married. She didn't want me to make her mistakes, but most of all, she wanted me to be happy. I knew that I could learn to be happy here in Forks and that she would be happier traveling with Phil.

Charlie wanted the same for me: Happiness. He, on the other hand, would probably like it better if I didn't date until college.

That didn't help me with what I wanted, though. What did _I_ want, indeed?

Sighing, I put the much too short essay aside and went to do some laundry. I hadn't done a lot of chores in the past few days, so there was a lot to do. I had been too absorbed in my own little world of worries to take care of the things I was supposed to do and Charlie wasn't the type to complain or nag me about it. When I was finally done with all the washing, drying and putting away of my laundry, I changed, went to bed and at once fell into a dreamless sleep that lasted until the late morning hours. I hadn't slept that long since getting over my jetlag when I decided to move in with Charlie.

As I didn't have many good friends yet and the weather was bad, there wasn't much else to do on the weekend but chores. I asked Charlie for the Blacks' number and called there to ask if I should bring anything to the beach the coming week. Jacob and I finally agreed on a small Cesar salad. "It has to be something small or you'll insult Emily's cooking skills. She agreed to take care of the food for everyone!" Jacob told me.

Our conversation on the weekend led to a few more calls during the week where we didn't talk about anything in particular. "Are Rachel or Rebecca going to join us?" I asked, only to stop myself and correct my mistake. "How stupid of me, they're going to college, right?" This was the only signal he needed to start a wonderful conversation. In its course he filled me in on his recent family history.

Rebecca had moved to Hawaii and fallen in love with a surfer there. "It's kind of a stereotype, right?" he laughed at me. "But I'm happy for her," he added. She got engaged this summer. Apparently, Rachel was going to college at Washington State and returned home from time to time. "She isn't here as often as she could, though," he explained with sadness in his voice. She was planning to visit her sister in Hawaii right now. He asked if I still had the dream-catcher his dad Billy had made me. I did, but it was battered and old, lying in a shoebox at my mom's.

Catching up with my dad and talking on the phone with Jake, the week passed quickly. On Friday I met with Angela and Ben to grab a bite in Port Angeles, but we didn't stay out long. I felt a little expandable while the two of them were chattering away about their childhood memories, but really participated in the conversation when they started talking about Angela's dog Puck. I had always wanted to have a pet but never really had the chance to. Maybe I would buy myself a hamster if Dad didn't mind, they did not require a walking every few hours.

On Saturday morning, I was surprised that Charlie had let me sleep this long, but soon discovered the reason for the abnormal silence in the house. Like every other weekend he must have gone fishing with Billy and left before the sun was up. Right now, it was already above the treetops of the nearby forest.

I hadn't noticed until now, but the sun was actually visible now. It would be a great day, the right weather for the beach. Only then did I notice that I had really missed the warmth of the sun on my face. The past weeks had been too green for my liking. No warm auburn tones, no red or brown. Even the tree trunks were green here!

And if it wasn't green, it'd be gray from the rain. The sun even intensified the pronounced greenish shine around everything out there, but it made me happy.

Walking towards the kitchen table I changed my plans, grabbed a blanket and headed outside, where I sat down on our freshly mowed lawn. The light breeze around me smelled fresh and intoxicatingly like freesias. While I slowly ate my cereals on the blanket, I watched as the wind twirled through the grass and made the flowers and grass dance. I could almost hear the strange melody they moved to in the gentle breeze.

When I was done with breakfast, I put the empty bowl aside and laid back to watch the sky. It was a glorious blue that was seldom interrupted by peacefully drifting white clouds. They reminded me of grazing sheep. Only a shepherd was missing to complete the picture.

The sky didn't stretch endlessly as it had in Phoenix, but I still felt at home. Slowly, I dozed off into a content half-asleep state where I thought about sheep on a lush green meadow. The sweet smell, the pleasant warmth on my face, the birds singing: They all made me feel truly happy for the first time since I had come to Forks. It had been a good choice to stay with Charlie.

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With a startle I sat up as an engine roared in our driveway. Charlie must have come home early from his fishing trip.

As he closed the door of the truck (he sometimes took my truck because it fit in with the whole outdoor experience more closely than his police cruiser), he called over to me.

"Hey Bells, how long have you been outside? It's already past three, you don't want to get a sunburn!"

I hadn't realized it was already this late, so I got up, gathered my things and went back inside with him. "I've probably been outside for too long. I'll be in La Push this evening, you know that, right?" Charlie just grinned at me, as if I had missed an obvious joke he was enjoying. When he took in my confused face, he merely chuckled and went to put the gutted fish in the freezer.

"Did you catch a lot?"

"Sure," was his only answer, still grinning to himself. This was getting too strange for my liking. "Okay. I'll just grab a sandwich. If you need me… Well, I'll be in my room."

Smalltalk was always awkward with Charlie. He was more a father for the quiet moments. I could just _be_ with him and enjoy his company.

Up in my room I tried to decide on what to wear. Nothing too elegant, it was a beach party and a barbecue, after all. But definitely not just a boring shirt I wore to school every day. Finally, I settled on my favorite casual blouse and a pair of faded jeans. They wouldn't be a problem in the bright sand of First Beach. I put on some sunscreen, too, since I would be at the beach and in the sun again. I didn't want to risk looking red like a cherry the next day after falling asleep in the sunny lawn. That had already been risky with my skin, even in fall.

Before I left, I prepared dinner for Charlie. How had he survived without me? A quiet thought told me that he could make do without me just find, but that he enjoyed having me here to take care of him too. And there was always the pizza service.

I chuckled to myself and remembered to grab my sweater before I left. If the party was going to take a while (which I expected), I would probably be shivering by the time the sun was down.

The drive to La Push went faster than I had expected, so no one was at the beach yet when I arrived. I went down to the shore and sat down on one of the flat, smooth rocks that extended into the sea. The sound of the waves breaking on the rocks calmed me down. For a minute only the waves and I existed, until a familiar voice spoke quite close to me.

"Hey Bella!" I flinched a little because I hadn't expected anyone to be around. The waves had drowned out Jacob's quiet approach.

After I had recovered, I greeted him with a smile. "Jake! I was a little early because I overestimated the drive. I guess I haven't been here in a while, huh?"

"If you want to call it a while... Beautiful, isn't it?" He nodded wistfully at the rough sea as he sat down beside me. Although it was really warm from the precious rays of sun, the breeze had picked up and I shivered a little in my thin blouse. I had left the sweater in the sand next to the rocks and wasn't in the mood for leaving, so I just hugged my knees tighter.

"Are you cold, Bells? You should've brought a sweater, it'll be chillier when the sun sets," Jacob said. I couldn't recall him calling me anything but Bells when we were little and I liked that he reverted back to my old nickname. My dad was the only other person to call me that. "Here, take my jacket," he added, and made to shrug out of his sleeves.

"Aw, Jacob, that is sweet of you. But I actually brought a sweater, so I won't be needing it. It's somewhere down there." I pointed in the general direction where I had left it earlier. As I looked over my shoulder, I noticed people beginning to fill in. We didn't join them though, but took some more time catching up on our lost time. A lot of things had happened over the course of the last few years.

Jacob was so easy to talk to, I never got bored. From time to time, he would crack a joke and then laugh his winning laugh with me. I didn't even notice the time passing by rapidly until Jacob sniffed the air and cried out.

"Time for dinner! I can't believe that I didn't notice the grilling earlier. They might not have left us anything! I am a growing young man, after all, I need all the nutrition I can ger," he mocked with false desperation.

Apparently, they had left us something. The sausages were delicious, really juicy and fresh. "Good, hm?" he asked me and I nodded in agreement since my mouth was full. I was amazed by how much food Jacob could wolf down. Well, he was a guy and still growing, so I guessed that it was normal. He _had_ announced his appetite.

As I took another bite of my sausage, I noticed a guy watching me. I had caught him glancing at Jacob and I earlier. Quickly I turned away and elbowed Jacob playfully. Conspiratorially I whispered to him "Who's that guy over there? He's been staring at us for some time."

Jacob turned around, gave him an angry stare, mouthed something like "Back off" and explained to me. "That's Quil, a friend of mine. We're also second cousins. He probably doesn't know who you are and wonders why I'm hanging out with you." This seemed reasonable enough, but still his stares made me wonder what he had been thinking about when staring at us so rudely.

Was it because I was not from their tribe? Or because he knew me when I was little?

Jacob made me forget those thoughts pretty quickly as the rest of the evening went by in a blur. I briefly chatted with Billy, who was sitting in his wheelchair on a grass patch alongside the beach, but then the two of us left him to sit on the rocks again. We talked into the night until most of the other guests had left.

I helped Jacob clean up and carry the things to the Rabbit, since Billy couldn't come down onto the beach in his wheelchair. He would've gotten himself stuck in the soft sand.

Technically, Jacob wasn't allowed to drive yet, as he was still studying for his theoretical test. He had told me this in confidentiality when we talked on the phone on Thursday. But since it was the rez and Billy couldn't get around without him, everyone just tolerated seeing him behind the wheel.

It was already past ten when I climbed back into my truck. I had spent five hours with Jacob, but it had seemed much shorter than that. "Thanks Jake, I really enjoyed myself. I don't think I've had this much fun around Forks since I moved here again - until now."

"I'll see you again, right?" he asked me in a sure voice. "Of course," I reassured him, smiling.

"It was really great to see you, Bells…" It looked as though he wanted to add something, but then he thought it over and just closed my truck's door for me.

"See ya around!" he called after me, grinning hugely as my truck came to life with a roar. "Got me a real lion there, didn't you," I yelled over the noise as I backed out, waved him a goodbye and left. When I looked into the rear mirror at the next curve, he was still standing there in the moonlight.

**OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Mrs. Road Tanker – Bella's point of view**

When I came home from La Push, Charlie was still up. I silently groaned and tried to sneak past him into my room. I definitely wasn't in the mood for being questioned. But apparently he had been waiting for me because I couldn't even tip-toe halfway to the stairs when he spotted me. "Hey Bells, how's it been?" he hollered at me enthusiastically.

"Good," I answered halfheartedly. "I'm going to bed now." Usually that would shake him off. But this time he seemed to be very curious.

"Jake is a nice guy, huh? I'm glad that you finally found a friend here. I don't want my only daughter to be lonely, a dad isn't ideal company for a teenager, is he? After all, I think I own you a pleasant stay. And I really like seeing you happy. Maybe you should see him more often…" Charlie was obviously having one of his rare sentimental moments. He hadn't spoken that much at once since two years ago, when I had broken my leg trying to climb up a tree. I should've known better than to climb a tree, but I kind of had a thing for getting myself on the verge of death or at least into the hospital every other year. So far, this year had passed without a major incident. Hopefully, I would be able to keep it up.

"Don't worry, dad. I really like staying with you and I already found some friends at school. You know Angela Weber? She is an awesome friend. And Jessica Stanley or Mike Newton? I ate lunch with them the past few weeks and they're really nice. I might be hanging out with them a lot. You know that I love you and that I came here on my own account." He nodded to show that he had heard me and with that, I left to my room, knowing that staying longer in the living room would've caused an awkward silence. Charlie and I weren't the people to talk about our feelings all that often and when we did so, neither one of us felt comfortable.

And I definitely wasn't in the mood for his obligatory lecture on dating that I still feared would crop up one day. He seemed to see a date in every boy that I happened to mention around him. On the one hand, he wanted me to end up with a nice guy and probably kids, but on the other hand he didn't want it to happen all too soon. Maybe in college. Or much rather, afterwards. Sometimes he really fulfills the stereo-type of an over-protective dad with a gun.

After the long day I fell asleep very quickly. Just before I dozed off, I thought I heard waves washing over the shore. Although that was an impossible thing to hear, it calmed me and carried me into a dreamless sleep.

**OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO**

When my alarm clock rang the next morning, I turned it off, rewrapped myself in the blanket because it was so warm and comfortable and promptly fell asleep again.

Half an hour later, I awoke with a start. Now I really had to hurry. I quickly showered, tossed on a shirt and jeans, grabbed a sandwich from the fridge and left. Charlie had already left for work, his police cruiser was gone.

This was the second time that I had slept in this week and I was beginning to wonder why exactly that was. Maybe it was the change of scenery or living so close to the sea. They always say that salty air makes you hungry and sleepy.

I was in a really great mood when I got to school, although I was almost too late. I had really had a great weekend. My skin still felt warm from yesterday's sun. Today the sky had clouded over, though. I realized that I didn't care that much about the weather anymore as I pulled into the empty parking lot. I had probably had enough sun for the next few weeks. Silently, I chuckled to myself as a comparison to a road tanker sprang into my mind. Maybe I was able to stock up on sunlight just like my truck was on gas! Or like a plant with photosynthesis.

Suddenly, my heart stopped still. I was late and still there weren't any cars in the school's parking lot? Something was definitely odd here.

After parking my car in one of the many empty spaces I checked my truck's clock. 7:58. The parking lot should have been full and students everywhere. It wasn't until I walked up to the school's main entrance and realized that the doors were locked that I realized why there wasn't anyone present.

It wasn't Monday yet. In fact, today was _Sunday._

Charlie must have gone fishing, I realized. He had told me about that on Friday. And I stupidly must have set the alarm clock last night when I was already halfway asleep. Great. Now that I was already in town, I might as well visit someone, I thought as I walked back to my truck. Otherwise I would have wasted the precious hours of sleep and the gas for naught. Sighing, I checked my cell phone for telephone numbers. Sadly, I only had Jessica's and I knew that she was in Port Angeles to visit her aunt.

Who else was there? I didn't know any other phone numbers or addresses from school. There was one number though that I knew by heart now... _Jake's._

I knew where he and Billy lived, but I didn't want to call them this early. It would only give them a warning time of about five minutes anyways, so I just decided to drive by. If Jake was home he would hear my knock and if he wasn't, I would just have to go home. Charlie probably had a phonebook somewhere at home, but I didn't want to drive back and forth so much just to get a simple number of anyone else. And after yesterday I really wanted to spend more time with Jacob.

I turned the ignition and made my decision as the truck stuttered to life.

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When I pulled up at the Blacks' house, I was a little nervous. It just wasn't customary to knock at someone's door without an invitation or warning. Especially since I had talked to his dad (not counting yesterday) only a few times on the phone since turning up here. Now I was showing up uninvited at his house shortly after eight o'clock in the morning. And that was way different.

After a moment I had pulled together my nerves and gotten rid of the awkward feeling of being uninvited and walked up to the door. Jacob lived in a small cottage with his father, but it didn't look small anymore now that they were just the two of them. It rather looked cute and a little out of proportion next to their huge garage. I wondered what they kept in there but the car. I couldn't remember ever entering it.

Hesitantly, I knocked on the door, but no one answered. Maybe they weren't at home. Billy was probably fishing with dad and Harry Clearwater and maybe Jake had decided to come with them. I almost gave up, but decided to knock again. Maybe he just hadn't heard me the first time.

"Come in!" a muffled voice called from within after my second rapping I timidly did as he said and carefully closed the door behind me. As I waited for him to come out of wherever he was, I curiously took in my surroundings. So much had changed since I had been here last time. All the girls' stuff had disappeared from the living room. There were also less shoes in the small hallway leading to it and the house smelled a little different.

It smelled like the forest, more masculine than when Rachel and Rebecca had lived here and sprayed their room sprays around.

After a few minutes I began to feel uncomfortable just standing in the living room of someone else's house. "Jake?"

I heard a rumble in the bathroom, then Jacob stuck his hair out of the door, his hair wet. "Oh, it's you," he said and froze in the doorway. "I was in the shower" he explained. "Uum, my things are still upstairs so if you'll excuse me for a minute…" He hesitated briefly and, blushing a little, stepped out of the bathroom in his towel. He hurried towards the stairs and left me to look after him. Too bad he was gone. He wasn't one who had to hide his body… I hadn't ever thought of that before, but his whole family was pretty good-looking. And his mom had been a real beauty with her russet skin and big, round eyes...

Remembering what I had just seen, I blushed. I was glad that he was in his room and couldn't see me like that. It wasn't like I had seen a lot of half-naked boys recently or ever. I didn't know how to react.

When Jacob came back out in shorts and a t-shirt, there was an awkward silence. Luckily, he broke it soon after. "Sorry for that, I just expected that it would be one of the guys."

"I figured," I smirked at him. Then I told him about the reason that I had come to visit him in the first place. We laughed together about my colossal stupidity. "I never thought that it would be so easy to confuse you, Bells. Apparently, all I have to do is invite you to the beach and get your dad away from the house. And like magic, you turn up at my house the next day. I'm going to file that piece of information away for further reference." he chuckled.

"Yeah, that's me. But please don't tell Billy or Charlie, I don't want my dad laughing at me when I get home. He'll think I had this planned from the beginning if you keep quiet."

"If you don't want me to tell him, I won't. But it would be really funny to see their faces when they realize what happened." His face turned serious again. "But sure, sure, I won't tell him. Can't do that to you."

I smiled at his words. They seemed to be some kind of his signature move. "What are you smiling at?" he asked me, noticing my mood. "Nothing," I grinned at him, "Do you want to go outside?"

"Sure, though it's not as sunny as yesterday"

I sighed over dramatically. "It's not like you can expect more than two days of sunshine per year around Forks."

"Do you miss the sun? I figured that it would be bothering you, Phoenix is one of the sunniest places in the states, right?"

"Yeah, but right now it's okay. I just refueled." He furrowed his brow in confusion, so I told him about my road tanker-analogy, thinking he would consider it to be funny. I wasn't disappointed, his infectious laughter was in the air before I could finish my story.

"Right, Bells, you're so much like a road tanker. All big and heavy, with four tires and a few thousand gallons of gas inside. Right." His words really made me laugh and whenever I had collected myself enough to take a breath, he would top it by making tires' squeaking sounds and announcing "Here comes Bella!" which caused me to have another laughing fit. "And we have to watch out if you ever lose all those galleons of gas, I can already imagine the smell!"

"Stop it, Jake, I can't breathe," I was finally able to gasp out. "Only if you can escape me," he said with a mischievous smile and started a tickling attack. It was almost impossible to escape his torturing fingers _and_ I was very ticklish, but somehow I managed to get away from him to hide behind the cover the couch provided. While he still tried to get around it I ran to the door.

"Don't think you can run away from me, Mrs. Road Tanker!" With that Jake ran after me, but I could tell he wasn't really trying all that hard to get me. He let me run almost all the way to the water before catching up with me. Foreseeing his next move, I just sat down on the sand myself and held my hands up giggling. "I surrender."

"Too bad." Jake smiled at me and then sat down next to me. "I don't think I've ever known someone as ticklish as you."

Suddenly, my cell phone started ringing. It was Charlie. "Charlie doesn't know where I'm at," I told Jake and then answered it.

"Hey Dad, you're home already? I'm over at La Push, don't worry. There should be some sandwiches in the fridge, if you want some."

"Um, okay, Bells. I was just wondering where you were since you didn't leave a note. Didn't know that you were planning on visiting Jacob. You're with him, right?"

"What else would I be doing here, dad?" I sighed and then added, "See you in a bit, I'll be home for dinner." I just couldn't leave him to eat sandwiches once again. "Bye Bells!" was his response.

I was still wondering why he was home so early in the morning from an all-day fishing trip, but I could ask him when I got home. I turned back around to face Jacob. He had a mocking smile on his face, which he tried to hide when he noticed me looking at him.

Apparently he couldn't keep the charade up for too long: He chuckled and told me "It's so funny to watch you talk to your dad. It's like either one of you knows what the other wants to ask you and you answer the questions without hearing them. As if you two were able to read each other's thoughts!" He was right with that, most of the time it was best to answer all of Charlie's questions before he even got to ask them. Our communication was _very_ effective.

I grimaced. "Ugh, I definitely don't want Charlie reading my mind! If he knew what's going on in here," I tipped my temple, "he would probably send me to a brain hospital. And it would be quite embarrassing to have your dad know your every thought, don't you think?"

There were a lot of things I didn't want Charlie to know. For example how hurt I had been about Edward's behavior (there really was no need to worry him more than necessary) or the memory of Jacob in only a towel. Instantly, I blushed at the mental image.

Jake didn't seem to notice or otherwise politely ignored me turning beet-red. "I don't really want Billy to snoop in my brain, either. Just the thought of it is disturbing. Someone knowing your every thought, it's unsettling. Look, I'm even getting goose bumps." He held his arm over to me and really, there were goose bumps. I smiled at him.

We spent the rest of the afternoon discussing the pros of knowing other peoples' thoughts and the cons of having other people read our minds, grabbing a few sandwiches to eat at the beach around three. Although it was cloudy, it was a nice day to be outside. Luckily, I had thought of bringing my jacket to school. Without it, it would have been freezing cold in the wind. We agreed in the end that it would be cool to have a connection to other people that you could turn on mutual will. It would allow you to communicate silently and in private about anything at all.

Like yesterday, the time went by very quickly and before I knew it, it was time to drive home and think about fixing dinner for Charlie. I couldn't believe that I had left for school about 7 hours ago. It felt like much less time.

Before I left, we exchanged our cell phone numbers, so we would be able to contact each other even when not at home. Who knows, it might come in handy one day and I had a gut feeling that Jake and I were going to see each other a lot in the future. We got along wonderfully. "We'll have to work on our mental connection and I'll be able to call you even without the phones!" I yelled out of my rolled-down window as I drove off and could just barely hear Jacob's laughter over the roaring engine.

I thought of the other good things about having his number as I drove home. He wasn't going to our high school, after all, and now I had a way to arrange meeting him again without having to talk to Billy and talking in the constant presence of Charlie.

After dinner I kept thinking about the profits of mind-reading. I would be able to read Edward's mind with that skill. I wouldn't have to bother with waiting for him to maybe explain his strange behavior one day, if it ever pleased him to do so. I'd know why he hated me or why he didn't. I could stop thinking about him so much. He was making me all self-conscious and angry.

As I thought this, I realized that he hadn't been in my thoughts the whole weekend. Maybe I had found a way to be comfortable with myself despite what he might think of me. Maybe I had found someone who could make me forget the feeling of being unwelcome.

_Jake._

Strange that I hadn't really talked to him in years. How strange that I only really knew the Jacob who wasn't a child anymore for a few weeks. Smiling at today's memories I fell asleep. I was content being his Mrs. Road Tanker and I hoped to stay just that.

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	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: So Much for Staying out of Trouble – Bella's point of view

When I woke up the next morning I was in a strangely good mood once again. Last night I had had a dream about going tramping with Jake in a road tanker. Now that I thought of it, it had been a strange dream. But it reminded me of yesterday. I smiled in remembrance as I poured milk into my cereals. "Morning, dad!" I yelled into the living room where Charlie was already eating his breakfast. "Good morning, Bells," he greeted me as I joined him. Today was going to be a great day, I was sure. It didn't even matter that I had to go to school.

And it really was a good day: I made plans with my friends at school to go to the beach on Thursday and I called Jake on Tuesday asking him and his friends to come with us. He happily agreed, more so because some of his friends apparently knew some of mine. It was going to turn out a great evening despite the fact that we had to go to school the next day. We were going with the weather: Thursday was supposed to be one of the last really warm and sunny days of the year. At least in Forks, Washington, it was.

It was pouring outside when I pulled into the school's parking lot on Wednesday, making me doubt the weather announcement for the next day. I would have to put up with the rain for now and hope against hope for tomorrow, but that couldn't darken my mood.

You didn't need to be Moses to recognize the puddles of water and the almost flooded lot as the Deluge's little brother. To my luck the truck was too heavy to be bothered by the water. It splashed droplets everywhere as the huge tires just pushed through the rivers of water. Carefully, I pulled into a free parking spot that had some space besides it without five inches of water on top. Maybe I could get into the school building without getting my feet soaked at least.

Sighing, I killed the engine, armed myself with my dad's ugly umbrella and climbed out of my truck into the pouring rain. Because of the heavy rain I could hardly see the building, but I quickly started walking towards it. There was no need to run as the lot was slippery with rain.

That was probably exactly the reason why Tyler Crowley almost killed me that day, I later deducted.

I could only hear the roar of an engine as I stalked through the rain. It had to be going really fast by the sound of it. When I looked up from the puddles of water by my feet to check who it was speeding like a madman in this weather, it was already too late. The car was hydroplaning on the inches of water and I knew that there was no way to stop or steer the car. A huge wall of wet, blue metallic truck came hurtling towards me as I froze in terror. I was surprised by how surreal and unfair it seemed that I was going to die on a day that had started out so great. I closed my eyes and screamed, expecting the impact any minute now.

I closed my eyes and waited for death to take me. 'So much for staying safe and sound,' I thought as the sound of the collision filled my ears. They always say that the moment you die your life flashes before your eyes. That is a lie. I only felt the rocks on the concrete as I fell and waited for the unconsciousness that never came to take me. I felt blood running down my leg, the pattering of the rain and I heard metal bending and screeching in protest against the deformation. A pressure was on my body as though something was holding me down. Somehow I was afraid that I was under water and drowning. Just that I already had to be dead as no parts of my body hurt terribly.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel dead. I didn't feel like I had been crushed to death by the unfamiliar car. I couldn't see anything but darkness and I felt strangely alive. But maybe that was just how it feels to be dead, who was I to know? So I just relaxed, enjoyed the numb feeling that started to spread through my leg and waited for the light, hoping it wouldn't take too long to rescue me from the cold and wet. I still heard and felt the rain falling down down down on me.

After a while that felt forever, there still wasn't any light. Curious about what was happening to me, I found that I could open my closed eyes one by one.

Only to realize that I must be either very much alive or having a vivid dream. I was looking at a wet piece of concrete. Suddenly, the weight on my body lifted. "Are you okay?" a voice asked me that sounded like someone I knew. Great, now he had to haunt me even in my afterlife. Edward Cullen had his ice-cold hand on my shoulder and looked at me with concerned eyes.

Carefully, I sat up and checked my surroundings to reconstruct what had just happened. I had been in the parking lot alone. A driver had lost control in the curve and hydroplaned into me, for all I knew, but I was alive. This was just way too realistic to be a dream. What had happened? I was in a very small space between a truck and the blue car with Edward. Right where we were sitting, the car had a big dent. One of my legs was under the car and bleeding from hitting the concrete. I couldn't feel if it was broken.

Suddenly, I remembered the cold weight on me and overlapped it with what I remembered of after the impact. A thought occurred to me, but it was incredible. It couldn't be that way. We should've both been dead. And where the heck had Edward come from so suddenly?

"_You_ stopped the car?" But how would he have done that without getting himself killed? I just didn't get what had just happened.

"You know that I can't stop cars. You bumped your head on the concrete and passed out for a while, so you probably just don't remember the car stopping right in front of us." –_Bang-_"I tried to get you down so maybe the car would just slide on over us. I was just walking past your car when Tyler lost control and I had to do something…" He did that eye thing on me the whole time and I couldn't look away for a second. Not even the strange banging sound was enough to pull me away from him. He could be very persuasive!

My tired mind remembered that today was Tyler Crowley's birthday and that he had been very excited about his motorized present from his dad.

It took me a moment to gather my brain parts again after he looked away, but then I blurted out, "What about the dent in the car? It must have hit you! I heard the metal bending, I saw the dent. And still you're not dead. I don't get what…" But he interrupted me with a kind little smile.

"Which dent?" Incredulously, I stared first at him and then at the dent. Which wasn't there anymore. "Come on, there was a dent. Don't tell me I hit my head again. I know what I saw. It was just there and you must've seen it, too!"

By now, I was very confused, angry at the world in general and doubting my sanity. "Like I said, you hit your head. It's okay to be confused. Now, let us get you out of here, we need to get you checked for injuries." With that, he pulled me to my intact leg and swooped me up into his arms to run to the sickroom.

I started to protest, but he shushed me and rested me on one of the stretchers there. Without another word to me, he pulled his phone out and frantically began talking to someone. His lips moved so fast that I didn't understand a word.

"I called my father. He is a doctor and will be here in just a few minutes with an ambulance."

"Thank you," I answered him for I hadn't thanked him yet. After all, he had rescued me. However he did that without getting himself killed was a riddle yet to be solved, but for now I was grateful that I had made it out of the parking lot alive.

Just a little while after the telephone call, the secretary opened the door for a young blond man. He was tall, pale and handsome like Edward and had the same astonishing golden eyes. Without a doubt, he had to be Mr. Cullen, although he looked rather young. He wore a kind smile on his face. "Hello Bella, my name is Carlisle Cullen. I am not sure of what your injuries are, so we should get you out of here and into the ER quickly."

With that, the two Cullens grabbed the stretcher and carried me into the waiting ambulance. Lots of students shot me concerned looks, but they didn't dare to approach me on the stretcher. Maybe they were afraid to hurt me if they did. I really felt fine everywhere but in my leg, but I knew that I would upset everyone more if I decided to just walk away. After all, I might have been dead. Maybe I had gone into shock, a part of my brain commented unbidden.

I glanced at Edward from time to time. I was hoping for a chance to speak to him again in private. He was the only witness to the accident but Tyler whom I hadn't seen yet. The doctor told me they would be taking him with them in another ambulance. I had to find out from Edward what had happened and I really hoped he would cooperate this time. I didn't want to go through mysteries like last week again.

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It was really hard to reign in my anxiety while I was brought to the hospital. I wanted to know what had happened, I was scared that I was really imagining things as Edward had implied and I had to keep quiet until the two of us were alone. If nothing was unnatural about the happenings and nothing was wrong with Edward, it would've been extremely embarrassing to bring the subject up in public. I'd be considered crazy for the next few decades if that was the case and I wasn't planning on spending any time in a mental hospital. So I settled on shooting him dirty looks from my stretcher and keeping quiet – for now.

Soon they had me in a pristine white hospital bed and Dr. Carlisle Cullen began checking me and my limbs for injuries. I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn't Edward's father by blood because he looked too young for that. And dare I say he was exceptionally good looking? I felt as if I were in a TV-show.

Dr. Cullen announced that except for the bloody wound on my leg I seemed to have come out of the accident surprisingly unharmed. It looked as though even accident-prone people like me get lucky, after all. The doctor carefully bandaged my calf, but couldn't avoid touching the hurt area altogether. The feeling in my leg had returned sometime between the accident and now and it was hurting awfully. I violently shivered under his touch, but it wasn't only because the contact hurt. Others might have put it off as the after-effects of going into shock, which I surprisingly didn't feel. Only I knew that it was because of his icy hands. It felt as if they were made of stone or something similar. They were cold and hard, although his touch was careful. His son had ice-cold hands as well and I began to wonder why that was. Exhausted as I was I didn't think about it too much, but simply added it to my 'weird list' about the Cullen family.

When he was done with the bandaging, Dr. Cullen interrupted my shivering apologetically. "I am truly sorry that my hands are this cold. As a doctor, I have to wash them with ice-cold water fairly often, so they seldom get their required time to warm up. They pay me for giving you goose bumps," he laughed. His laughter was infectious and I fell in. Since I now understood the cause of his iciness, I went to thanking him for his help. "It really isn't a problem. I'm just glad that you got my leg bandaged up." I had never liked blood, especially not my own. Merely my wonderment at Edward's behavior and the shock had kept me from letting the nausea take over my body. Under different circumstances I might have fainted by now.

"It is my job," the kind doctor smiled at me. "I'm going to leave you to yourself now, you need some rest before your concerned friends will begin to file in. Oh, and I called your father, he will be here in an hour. I asked him to give us some time to treat you and five additional minutes for you to recover first."

"Okay, thanks again!" I really wasn't ready to deal with the concerns and attention of all my classmates, few half-friends or even my family right now. Come to think of it, now that I didn't have an audience anymore, I still had to resolve one issue.

"I need to speak to your son Edward. He saved me from Tyler's car. Could you ask him to come here?" I requested of the doctor.

I got a nod as a response and was left to myself and the empty room. It smelled of hospital chemicals and a constant ticking and beeping was in the air. I couldn't see any medical equipment but the heart monitor and its cord that was tightly attached to my wrist.

Surprisingly, my wonderful day had turned into something terrible. Either something was wrong with the bronze-haired Cullen or my brain had suffered damage from the impact on the concrete. Neither option was a nice prospect. Adding to my misery was the fact that I was surely going to be the center of the town's attention for the next few weeks now. I had to talk to Tyler, too, to take some of the guilt he must be feeling off him as soon as he arrived here at the hospital. He had to understand that his reckless behavior could have killed me, but I didn't want the guilt to eat him up. I was alive, after all, and still kicking.

As the door opened and bronze hair and golden eyes peeked in, I realized that I didn't have any idea how to do this. It was somehow important to handle this conversation the right way, I could feel it deep down in my heart. I had to be persuasive and resist his strange ability to dazzle others. Persistence was needed at the same time as self-effacement. If he had some kind of disease that cased his resistance to metal, I surely wouldn't want to be the one to make him uncomfortable about it. I didn't think that it was something quite as normal as an illness that made Edward and his family so different, but still. Rudeness was not my modus operandi for getting information out of others.

"You wanted to speak to me?" It looked as though his mind was already made up to be closed-off with me. He fully entered the room after finishing his survey of the room. By the way his jaw was set I could tell that he was determined not to tell me anything more than what he had already told me in the parking lot. But I wanted to know the truth. The full truth. So I demanded it from him, maybe being a little too insensitive, I realized when his jaw clenched.

"I told you the truth. You know that I could not have stopped the car. We both know that. What is there left to talk about?" he snapped at me.

"There is something about you that I don't get. I don't understand what happened earlier either and it makes my thoughts buzz and my head hurt even now. You told me that it is because I hit my head and while that might be a possibility, my head is fine, really. I feel fine except for the burn in my calf." I pointed to the bandaged leg in emphasis. "I don't think I really hit my head, you had your hand underneath it when you jumped to save me and we fell." I had remembered this tidbit only as I spoke. "Maybe I imagined that, too," I laughed harshly, "but that means you will have to tell your dad right now to commit me to a brain hospital. I am not going to change my mind on this being the truth."

He raised his eyebrow at my words, seemingly cool. But his stormy eyes betrayed him as he said "Maybe I will just have to do that. I think it will be better to just wait a few days to give you time to remember what really happened, though."

"Oh, I remember alright!" I shot back. "I remember alright that nothing about what happened should even be possible." We were silent for a minute until I spoke again.

"Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that fate decided to save me from certain death by your act of heroism. But there are so many strange things about you and your family that I really can't ignore them anymore. Please don't tell me that I'm imagining things about this too. Even if I leave your siblings out of this, what you did today should be impossible! My theories about how you did it are probably worse than reality, so why don't you just tell me the truth? All of it? I don't mean to be inappropriately nosey and I certainly don't want to insult you or your relatives."

"But that is exactly what you are doing, you foolish girl!" he said in exasperation and his anger seemed sincere.

Maybe my brain had started to find strangeness everywhere around me because Forks was too normal for my liking. I felt panic begin to creep up my spine and my pulse began to hammer through my veins. Maybe they _were_ going to have me committed! "I really feel like I am going crazy," I admitted.

Edward sighed at my words and the look of determination seemed to lift a little. For a brief second I thought I had seen defeat on his face. But I wasn't so sure anymore when he turned around and sat down next to my bed. His face was perfectly composed now.

"Look, you're not cra," he started softly, but then seemed to change his mind. "What did you supposedly notice, then?" I took a deep breath and then started to ramble through my mental list of weirdness.

"Well, you are all extremely pale. You have golden eyes, a color that eyes normally just aren't. And they seem to change colors, too: Right now yours are almost black." I stopped to confirm my earlier observation, but quickly looked down again when he tried to back away. Throughout my account, I didn't dare to look at his face again. I wanted to get this off my chest without being dazzled or stared down.

"You and your siblings are not related by blood, but look like you should be. That's not really something that unusual, though. But then you stopped Tyler's van with your shoulder and most likely dented it back while you were distracting me and I can't put that off as a coincidence anymore." I instinctively rolled my eyes. If I'd been looking at him then, he probably would've dazzled me again. "And there is no way that any normal person could have seen me standing there in the pouring rain and run over to my truck that fast, I was the only one in the vicinity, I think. It might have been another coincidence, but the probability of all of these rare things being a coincidence is slim at most. You also keep to yourselves and you're all scarily beautiful." There wasn't a filter between my brain and my words anymore, I just let them out.

I had built up my courage while I talked to check one thing. I snatched his hand (apparently surprising him, because he looked shocked at my move) and felt its temperature, then dropped it and continued. "And your skin is cold as ice. Your father's is too, even though that might be because of his job." When he opened his mouth, apparently to protest, I shushed him and objected. "Now don't you even try to start telling me that you just washed your hands because you were just as cold at the truck!"

Finally, I added "And you stare at me and glare and look like you want to kill me and suddenly you tell me you don't hate me at all and then walk out on me like nothing ever happened? What am I supposed to think?" Tears started to pool in my eyes, but I stopped myself. Although his behavior had hurt me, I didn't want him to know about it as it wouldn't help with my quest for information. If at all, it would only help with giving him fuel for keeping me away from him in the future if I tried to contact him again to ask questions.

Edward waited a moment for me to compose myself. Then he finally answered.

"I really can't tell you anything because there is nothing wrong with my family. Can't you just respect our privacy? Maybe we are not quite like ordinary people, but that is because we aren't related. Do you really want to rub that in my face some more? Our family matters are none of your concern and I ask that you leave us and me alone in the future. You shouldn't concern yourself with this as it is nothing you should want to know. Why do you?" He sighed and his eyes softened as he answered himself. "Right, your mental well-being. I wouldn't want to risk that, it is too precious to me." This seemed to be a pretty weird turn of the conversation to me.

Why would he even care about me or my health? After all of the if-looks-could-kill-glares he suddenly had decided to care about my well-being. Whatever his reasons were, his sudden concern was almost worse to deal with than the glaring. I didn't understand either one, but at least his hatred had been honest.

"Why do you hate me? And why wouldn't I like your answer? Like I said, my imagination's product is probably way worse than the real thing," I insisted.

"What do you imagine, then?" he inquired. "Steroids? Hereditary diseases?" He paused and gave me a sad look. "Whatever you think, it is worse. It is bad, evil. I am a dangerous person. In fact, I shouldn't even be sitting here with you right now."

"I don't think that it is a _normal _abnormality. You aren't like me or the other students. You're something _more_… Right?" I could only hope that I was right and wasn't about to embarrass myself more than necessary.

When Edwards face twisted and he looked unbelievably torn, I knew that I was right. He didn't answer me though, but jumped to his feet in a movement that blurred in front of my eyes. I rubbed my eyes. Had he been faster than he was supposed to be again? How could this be?

He stood at my side, his hand running through his hair unconsciously. "Really. I want to tell you, but I _can't_, at least not right now. Do you promise not to talk to anyone about the… things you noticed if I promise you something in return?" He hesitated for a second and then continued. "I will tell you when you are ready. You will tell me about your theories and I will eventually tell you what happened. But please reconsider this and remember that it is not safe. Not for you and neither for all of us. And it entirely unimportant for you to know about this."

"Why can't you tell me now?" I said as I tried to get up. With inhuman speed, Edward was at my side again and gently pushed me back down on the hospital bed. When I tried to fight him, he locked his fingers around my wrist and started talking to me persuasively.

"You are still in shock, Bella. Carlisle already told you and he even told me to let you rest. Your body can't take any more agitation and visitors will soon begin to come through this door." As he saw that I gave up my resistance and reluctantly relaxed back against my pillows, he released my wrist.

"I don't want to upset you – I really don't – that is why you need to rest now and calm down. I know that you will not let this go easily, but are you really sure that you want to know what happened?"

I nodded eagerly, but I was also a little frightened. "Then you have my word that I will tell you the truth. As soon as you are physically and mentally able to handle it. If you change your mind, I'll be glad to pretend that nothing has happened."

Edward took a deep breath and then let the air out with a whooshing sound.

"Promise me to calm down and not tell anyone? This is about my whole family and thus vitally important to all of us. Please? I can't jeopardize my family's safety." He almost pleaded with me and looked me deeply in the eyes, effectively locking mine with his. I just couldn't resist those eyes!

I also didn't want Edward's family to be in any trouble because of my assumptions, so I settled on huffing a "fine" to him. His face lit up at my response and he smiled that weird but beautiful smile of his. It looked a little crooked, I had noticed that before in Biology or when he laughed with his siblings. He seemed so sad, even when he smiled. As though one of the corners of his mouth was carrying too heavy a burden to properly follow along with the smile.

Without another word he got up and went to open the door. When he was almost all the way through it, he turned around, promised again "As soon as you are ready," and quickly disappeared.

I was left to my thoughts, tangled as usual. Yet again he had managed to evade my questions, but he was most likely right. I felt sore and tired, so I appreciated the rest he forced me into having. At least I was going to know his secret soon. He had admitted to having one and I was not going to allow him a breach of promise.

This secret of his seemed to be twisted and dark. It made my spine tingle in a good and bad way at the same time. Somehow I was afraid of the day he would reveal the truth to me. Though I was curious, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be the confidant of such a dark and, according to Edward, dangerous family.

**OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoOu**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Real Life is not a Fairytale – Jacob's point of view

As I considered the events of the past few days, I realized that everything had turned out in my favor. Well, almost everything.

Just a moment ago, Bella had hung up to prepare herself dinner after a wonderfully refreshing talk on the phone. I had been so afraid to have lost her as a part of my life forever. This fear had changed into the knowledge that we would be just as close as we used to be, if not closer. I had a really good feeling about this. If fate were to always do my bidding like it was now, she never would've left in the first place, but who was I to meddle with fate? Maybe it had been better that she hadn't been here during the cooties-phase that every kid is wont to go through. Now she was here and I intended to enjoy it. Although _here_ could be a little closer to La Push, if you asked me. I couldn't pinpoint what it was about Bella that I liked so much, but I knew one thing: I really did like her very much.

And that Bella liked me was a given, too, at least enough to want to rekindle our friendship, at least enough to hang out with me at least once a week up until now. Maybe this year would really be different than it had seemed to turn out. Quil had been behaving strangely these past few weeks. His awkward staring at the beach party a few days ago had just topped it off. Suddenly, he had begun to distance himself from me. He was my oldest childhood friend except for Bella and also a distant cousin of mine.

And now my brother in everything but blood spent more and more time around Sam Uley. Sam had always been just another of the older boys on the reservation, someone we rarely interacted with. When he had shaved his hair short half a few months ago, Quil had even made fun of him. "A Quileute without his hair is like a dog without a tail," he had said. Sam had changed so rapidly, that even we realized that something was wrong. I didn't understand what his deal was and was mostly convinced he had started doing drugs when he showed up with a huge tribal tattoo one day. He had distanced himself from his friends, too, and gotten more aggressive from day to day. In the end, he had left his long-time girlfriend, Leah, to date her _cousin._ In my opinion, there couldn't be a crueler choice of a new girlfriend.

Now Quil had started behaving just like him, distancing himself from his friends and displaying an aggressive side to him that I hadn't ever known him to possess. I was afraid that Quil would turn into a new Sam and that I would lose my friend to whatever strange thing was going on. Surely, this had to be Sam's fault somehow. It just had to be! He had started this, after all. So this school year hadn't started out so great. Maybe I would have to talk to my dad about this, seeing as he was a tribal elder. He would possibly know more about what was going on.

Before I did that, I contemplated the last weekend, though. Bella had gone to school on a weekend (how funny is that!) and chose to visit me of all people when she realized her mistake.

I hadn't expected her to come over, I had thought that it would be Embry. I didn't dare to hope for Quil showing his ugly face around here. I couldn't help the bitterness when thinking about him. His behavior equaled the worst betrayal in my eyes. It was a little embarrassing to find myself standing in front of her half-naked, but I don't think she minded that much. I have seen her blush deeper shades of scarlet yet. My ego was glad to note that she didn't cover her eyes or flee the house. She did just the opposite of that: I dared to think that she was ogling me without noticing it herself. I didn't really understand if that meant that she was attracted to me or if it was due to the fact that neither of us had seen a lot of half-naked people of the opposite sex.

Another thing I didn't get: What was up with her blushing when she said she didn't want Charlie to know her thoughts? She probably wasn't as innocent as she always appeared to be. Or she had a dirty mind, though I couldn't imagine that. It was Bella after all, she seemed way too innocent for this kind of thoughts.

Heck, even I didn't blush at my own thoughts! What was up with the blushing? Maybe she was secretly dating someone? But who would that be? She hadn't been here for a long enough time to find someone for a serious relationship, had she? I really wanted to believe that. I had to find out somehow without being too obvious about it. I didn't want her to get hurt by some idiot in town, I told myself. I was just being protective of a friend.

She was a really strong girl if I was being truthful, though her clumsiness and her occasional forgetting things made her seem vulnerable. I still sometimes felt like protecting her from the evils of the world, though I highly doubted she needed that. She was confident enough to visit me without an invitation and to admit her own mistakes, wasn't she?

Sighing, I turned on the TV and plopped myself on the couch. It was going to be a long time until the next weekend was due to arrive, but maybe I could call Bella and ask her to come over later into the week? I didn't really want to have to face Charlie, so I hoped she could make it here. Her father had a gun with him, after all, and I didn't know how kindly he took to guys hanging out with his daughter.

I wasn't really watching TV when my dad entered, but I called out to him anyway. "Hey dad, do you want to join me?"

"What are you watching, son?" I considered the commercial on the screen for a while and decided to tell the truth, since I couldn't really guess which show it belonged to. "No idea!" His answering laugh boomed through the roomed as he wheeled himself over next to me.

"Why are you watching then?" he asked, but apparently he already knew. He always did. Sometimes it was a good thing and at other times it definitely wasn't. One time, for example, I was at home, waiting for him in front of the TV. I swear I didn't do anything differently than I normally do. I always tend to sit there and watch my favorite crime show. I swear! Yet still he steered his way into the house and it took him about zero point four-five seconds to figure out that something was wrong and only five more to find out about the broken vase.

'Darn him for knowing everything,' I often thought. I thought the very same thing when he answered himself, in a way, with a second question.

"This isn't about school, is it? You wouldn't really worry about that until it is too late by a long shot," he joked. Dad was once more serious when he added "Don't worry about Quil, he'll come around eventually. He's just going through some tough times, so don't hold a grudge against him. After all, he's your best friend and he'll probably be more like he used to be soon. Don't worry, it'll all work out. He has his reasons, so don't give him a hard time about his behavior. This was bound to happen soon. You might not understand it now, but you will eventually." At his words, dad patted my arm lightly, wheeled around to the kitchen and started preparing himself some sandwiches for dinner. His abrupt departure left me to think about his words. Maybe it would all work out, but still, I was worried to no end that it wouldn't ever be the same. Friends don't just forget about each other and become all distant and unlike themselves, at least not without telling you about the reasons.

This night, nightmares kept me awake. I dreamt of a harsh and unemotional stranger. Somehow I knew that behind his mask of apparent disinterest he was my best friend Quil. He had cut his hair, his eyes were hardened, but he was still in there. I just couldn't get him to remember his old and familiar self. For all the sleeping I had done I didn't feel refreshed in the slightest when I woke up the next morning. It felt as though I had been hit with a baseball bat, both physically and emotionally. Losing my friend wasn't a pleasant thing to dream about and definitely not a nice prospect. A prospect that might become reality all too soon...

But then I remembered my talk with dad last night. Maybe he was right and all would be well. But I couldn't just rely on his words, I had to fight for Quil before he lost himself to whatever had gotten to Sam all those weeks ago.

I pretty much spent the whole morning wallowing in self-pity. My best friend was about to decide he hated me. Even my dad knew what was up with him and _he wouldn't tell me!_

That was seriously messed up! I was one friend down and even my dad took his side.

My train of thought was redirected abruptly just after school. There was only one thing that was able to stop my moping around and my gnawing thoughts and worries about Quil. One sentence was enough to pull the gravel from under my feet, and I mean that quite literally. I had to sit down on the porch swing because I was so shocked.

It was only one simple sentence that dad had to say to cause all of this. One simple sentence that scared me, shocked me, made me feel like I was losing another vital part of my life. I knew something was wrong the moment I saw dad waiting for me on the porch. He often waited there for my arrival, but this time was different. There was a strange electricity in the air and it felt dangerous outside. Worry was etched all across his face.

"What happened?" I whispered hoarsely. The answer made my heart skip a beat and time stop for a brief moment.

"Bella can't come to the beach on Thursday because she was run over."

Was I going to lose another close friend after she had just been returned to me?

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I was at the hospital in close to no time at all, but still the drive felt endless. I was devastated at what had happened to Bella and I needed to see her right now. What would it have been like if she had died this morning?

Dad had told me everything he knew about her accident. One idiot was apparently enough to destroy the perfectly healthy life of a wonderful person. I felt like yelling Tyler Crowley down for what he had almost done to her and to all of us. Surely, he hadn't intended to hurt her, but still he had been irresponsibly reckless and inconsiderate.

Her death would have destroyed a great number of lives. Her mother would've blamed herself for the terrible accident because she had allowed her to leave. Even worse, she would see her new relationship to Philipp as the cause of her leaving and feel guilty all the more.

Charlie would be mourning her for years, if not forever. He had no woman at his side and losing his only daughter would've left him all alone and brokenhearted.

Poor Tyler would've had to live with his guilt for all his life. To all others he would be known as the boy who killed beautiful Bella. That was what her name meant: beautiful. Really, I'm not kidding. It's Italian for beautiful.

And then there was me. I might not have been close to her during all times of my life, but she had still etched her name into my heart next to dad, mom (it was still painful to think about her), Rachel and Rebecca. My friends' names were written across my heart, too. Embry. And even Quil.

I wasn't ready to lose Bella, not at all, not now that I was losing Quil, too. She had so much of her life ahead of her and I wanted to play a major role in it. That is why I simply had to see her now. She was probably in pain and if there was any way to take her mind of the pain, I would try to accomplishing the feat.

As I was pulling the car into the crowded parking lot of the hospital, I decided just what would do this easing away of pain. I was going to tell her about some of our Quileute legends. They were usually reserved for campfires and I wasn't all that sure that I was even permitted to tell them to someone outside of the tribe, but it would be the perfect thing to take her mind off of what had happened. The mystic and ancient elements of the story would hopefully enthrall her, if only for an hour, and take her to a different world.

I hurried through the hospital's entrance hall without as much as a glance around. I knew my way around because dad had given me a minute description of where to find her. He'd probably known about the hurry I was bound to be in as soon as I was out of his sight. Charlie had called him even before driving to visit her himself because Bella had asked for me.

Almost sprinting down the narrow and sterile white hallway I remembered the other patients and slowed myself down. Too bad I was raised to mind my manners or I would have kept running.

As soon as the door was in sight, I sped up, more or less jogging towards the white door on my right with a big '15' across it. But when I reached it, I came to an abrupt halt. What expected me inside the room? Tentatively, I raised my hand and knocked softly on the thick door separating us. Would she even be awake? Suddenly, I felt really shy. What was I supposed to say?

"Come in," a weak voice sounded from within. She didn't sound happy or angry, just tired. I sincerely hoped I hadn't woken her up. She would need the rest after all the things that had happened. The pain she had to be in was one thing. But just imagining the attention she probably had on her was enough to know that she couldn't have enjoyed her day, not one minute of it. I was going to change that, I decided as I timidly entered the room.

Bella was almost invisible under the huge sheets. Her pale skin almost matched their color and she seemed so small and frail next to the massive bed frame. "Bells!" I exclaimed, worry and joy mixing in my voice. "How are you, hon?" When she found out that it was me who had entered the room, relief flooded her face and she tried to sit up. Who had she expected in my stead?

Quickly, I rushed to her to her side and helped her up. "I'm not that badly injured, really! It's only my leg that is damaged a little!" she protested, but then admitted "It could've been so much worse, though. I'm just glad that _somehow_ Cullen managed to save me. He won't tell me the truth about how he did it, though."

Obviously, she was very annoyed by this fact, so I decided to ask her about this particular Cullen guy. "Are you angry that he saved you or about the lying part?" I jokingly inquired. She had to laugh a little at my question, too, and apparently laughing didn't hurt her. This was good as it meant that she was being truthful about not being severely injured.

When she answered, Bella was once again serious. "He somehow stopped that blasted van with his _shoulder_ and he won't tell me what is up with that! It is really annoying and frustrating, too, because I was beginning to think I was imagining things. Already saw myself in a brain hospital. Well, that was until he confirmed my suspicions that he was somehow different from the others in school. He told me that he was dangerous." She rolled her eyes.

"And he won't tell me a thing about his family secret until I'm 'ready' because he apparently won't – I'm quoting now – 'jeopardize his family's safety'. Seriously, now that he isn't here anymore to work his magic at convincing me, I think that he just doesn't want me to know about it at all. He would rather I think I'm crazy than risk me knowing about this, whatever it is. But I would never give anything away to just anyone, you know that. I'm just not keeping secrets from you."

Bella huffed in frustration. She was right. If anyone swore her to secrecy, she would rather die than give the secret away. Bella was such a truthful and strong person. I could see it clearly in the determined shine of her brown doe eyes.

"Okay, calm down a minute," I interrupted, "so you're suspecting that he has some kind of dark secret that he doesn't want you to know about? It might have to do with the legends... You know, our tribe suspects something about their ancestors. Creepy stuff and not to be taken seriously, but…" I paused for a while to think of any side-effects of telling her about them. I definitely didn't want to freak her out further, but since one of the Cullens had confirmed the strangeness she noted, the damage had apparently already been done. Maybe I had the chance to show her how far-fetched these myths and suspicions were.

"I was going to tell you about them anyway, to get your mind off of today. But I had no idea one of the Cullens saved you... Funny coincidence," I was almost rambling to myself now, but addressed Bella with the next question. "Which one was it? I didn't know they cared for anyone outside their family at all," I wondered.

Before she could respond, obviously confused that I would ask, I added "Let me guess. It was the doctor! He's the only one who's slightly compassionate and interacts with outsiders at all," I concluded. "Well, you're not an outsider... You're not part of their family, that's what I meant. You know that you belong here in Forks, right? You aren't an outsider..." I rambled, but then stopped myself to let her answer my initial question.

"Actually, it wasn't. I'm pretty surprised, too, because I always thought that he hated me thoroughly... It was Edward. The one with the bronze, messy hair. You know the Cullens?" She seemed to be surprised by this.

I was surprised by another thing: When the heck did Edward start to care about anyone beside himself? He always seemed to keep to himself the most of all of these secluded people. Maybe I hadn't gotten his personality right. Or maybe he liked her? My gut twisted at that thought, especially as I thought back to Bella blushing the other day at the beach.

I had met Edward Cullen a few times because dad insisted that I knew our "mortal enemies". Yeah. He really believed in that stuff.

"Yeah... It has to do with what I am going to tell you about. Dad insisted that I know their names and faces. Have you ever heard any of the Quileute legends?" She shook her head no to that. "Good, then you're going to hear the first one now. I'm not that good at story-telling, but this supposedly involves the Cullens and my tribe's ancestors. You're going to like it, at least that is what I'm hoping for. Connection to reality and all."

I cleared my throat once before I began talking again. Without my consent, my voice changed to a tone usually reserved for secrets or conspiracies. "Okay, here it goes... A long, long time ago, our tribe came across strange people. They were unlike any other we had ever seen and their beauty enticed everyone around them. They were far more frightening than you might imagine, though. My ancestors caught one of them with the slaughtered body of a girl that had disappeared that morning. He had killed her with supernatural strength and the lure of his beauty and her blood was dripping from his face. They had cold, impenetrable skin and were impossible to kill. Because of their body temperature my ancestors called their kind 'The Cold Ones'."

After these first sentences, I began telling her about our tribal legend. It all boiled down to my ancestors being werewolves who had been turning into their spirit wolves at free will for the sheer purpose of destroying vampires. Supposedly, the Cullens and their ancestors were the very same cold ones from the legends - though they claimed not to drink from human prey. I always thought that it was a disgusting story and couldn't have more than a grain of truth. Sure, they were all pale, but to accuse them of vampirism for that alone? Bella's story about Edward's supposed strength and speed had me thinking, though.

Bella seemed to have been pulled into the magic of the ancient story. It took her a while to really know where she was, I noticed with a quiet chuckle to myself. Did she really believe it was true like my dad did?

"You are a great story-teller, Jake," she finally said with a smile. "It gives me a lot to think about..." The sentence was left unfinished and dangled in the air for me to wonder about it.

"It's just a legend, a bedtime-story. Don't worry about it and just rest for a little while. You could've been hurt much worse, so I am glad that you are this well. Cullen saved you and that's a good thing, huh? However he did that. Should've killed him, but I'm glad. He'll tell you about his steel shoulder in no time, I'm sure".

My words didn't calm her like they were intended to. She smiled a little at the idea of a steel shoulder, which to me was the most likely explanation, but then she looked worried again.

"Jake?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Yeah?" I asked with trepidation.

"What if the legends are true?"

It would mean we hadn't but a glimpse of what really lurked in the shadows and a shiver ran down my spine every time Bella's words haunted me on my way home.

**OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO oOo OoO**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Curly-blonde or Intimidatingly-muscular? – Bella's point of view

After Jake left, I briefly called Angela to tell her what she obviously already knew: I wasn't going to the beach tomorrow. I still wanted to officially tell her and let her and the others know that I was well. She seemed concerned for me. I also relied to her what a nurse had told me earlier. I wouldn't be home until the weekend because they wanted to monitor my vitals. They had given me medicine against any possible inflammation in my leg and wanted to make sure there weren't any side-effects. I also texted my dad that he could come see me now.

Jacob's visit had really given me plenty of things to consider. His departure gave me no time to ponder over the question that consumed my very mind, though: Could Edward Cullen really be a cold one? The creatures from the legends sounded an awful lot like vampires or zombies.

I was fascinated by the idea of it and very scared. The undead were something to be scared about, but somehow he must have found a way to control his blood-lust if he really was a vampire. Or camouflage his rotting flesh, if he was a zombie. The most probable solution to my problem with understanding his strangeness was that he was just that: strange. There were many illogical and gaping differences between any legend I'd ever heard about creatures like the Quileutes' cold ones and their life.

The Quileute legend painted another pictures of the undead as well. If the stories were true it didn't seem that they could really go to school in Forks without anyone turning up dead in years. From my dad's job I knew that there hadn't been a homicide since before he started working for the local police force. And how could the doctor have bandaged up my bloody leg without killing me if I were his natural food source? It wasn't possible, so I discarded the notion.

He and his family most likely had a gene defect and very hard bones plus cold skin. Maybe the doctor hadn't lied and his hands weren't always this cold. Maybe Edward's hands were cold because of the weather and his fear for my life? Maybe, I was just being paranoid.

The differences in their outward appearance could be genetic, again. Possibly, the myths on vampires were even based on people like them, whom society didn't quite understand, but didn't dare to ask about. Prejudices came to be this way: Someone judged another person based on observations or other people's opinion, not on knowing them personally.

My spinning thoughts were disturbed at once when I heard someone argue right in front of my door, though. "Listen to me! You are not going in there! I talked to her already and she understands that I can't tell her," Edward's voice sounded in an angry, hushed whisper. They apparently didn't know that the door to my room wasn't sound-proof like most others or were under the impression that I was fast asleep. I froze up immediately and tried to be as quiet as possible. I wanted to hear what Edward had to say. Maybe he would let some information slip.

It surprised me that Edward didn't know that I could hear them, his father was a doctor here and he had brought me to my room himself. Hadn't he heard the nurses passing outside my door earlier? I could hear their conversation, or rather argument, as clearly as if they were standing in my very room.

"I thought you didn't want to tell her anything to avoid the problem with the Volturi! I didn't like the idea of lying to her any more than telling her, but you went about this in the wrong way. She's really confused and angry right now, I can see it. How come ya now confirmed her suspicions and promised to tell her later? Now you'll have to tell her eventually, as much as you're opposed to the idea. I can tell that she won't let this go easily! What were you thinkin'? Exposin' us like this, but not following through? I didn't like your idea of lettin' her think she'd imagined things. That would've kept her quiet, though it would've been dangerous on her mental health. Even she thought that!" the other voice argued in a slightly louder voice than the silky smooth drawl it had been before. I didn't recognize him at all, but it had to be one of Edward's siblings due to their familiarity with each other and with the secret involving the whole family. "And now you're not going to tell her anythin', until one day she'll cause a public scene in school and expose us."

"I only had her well-being in mind!" Edward defended himself, actively interrupting his brother. There was a pause and suddenly he spoke again. "I know that. Dilemma doesn't even begin to cover it!"

The other person spoke up again quickly. According to my assumption about him being part of the Cullen family, it had to be the quiet, curly-haired blonde or the intimidatingly muscular, more outgoing one. "Would you let me phrase my thoughts in my own words for once? You know that I don't like your snoopin' around when I'm angry!" the brother yelled, though in a hushed tone. The two candidates for who he was were quite opposite in complexion and behavior. Blonde and dark hair, lean and muscular, shy and outgoing. Brothers couldn't be more different. I wondered which one it was outside my door as he paused for a moment while Edward muttered "Fine" and then continued.

"You care for her and you can't stay away, that's why we are in this mess to begin with. I'm glad you saved an innocent life, but your behavior just now wasn't wise. All of us consider leaving the last option, too. We've been here for such a short period of time, it would be a waste. But if she finds out herself, without proper guidance as to the matter of us not being harmful to her, it would be too late to leave. We'd have to silence her and no one wants that, especially not you or me. If we tell her the wrong way or too much and she blabs, they'll kill her and us. They might even avenge themselves on the whole family.

"Your idea of leaving her in the dark backfired, too. She's a clever one and not easily afraid, so she will figure it out. The only question is when. Since she associates with the Quileutes, it'll be sooner rather than later. You know that. You also know that one of us has to tell her some of the truth. And though you know her the best, you're still opposed to telling her? She probably has most of it figured out already. You don't want to tell her, I'll do it. If we risk exposure the Italians will kill us and her, so we avoid that scenario. Where's the problem with that?" he inquired. Edward didn't answer his question at first, so he added full of mock humor "I'm finished with arranging my thoughts into a proper little speech. You may answer now."

Finally, Edward answered "She doesn't trust either one of us and you the least. You didn't even talk to her yet! Now is just not the right moment." Again, a pause. "You could try that, but I highly doubt it'll work." he seemed to answer an unspoken question.

"Fine. But I still don't like it," Edward's voice sounded again. "Yeah, okay, I know. I'm familiar with your thoughts on the matter. Trial is okay, but we don't need error!"

It really confused me how I didn't know the other person's behavior. Maybe his face was as easily readable as mine, but I couldn't follow the last piece of conversation at all. The first part had at least informed me that there really was a secret and that Edward wasn't the only one who found it disturbing and also dangerous to have others know.

His brother had unknowingly confirmed my suspicions that Edward had never meant for me to know their secret. It also seemed a life-or-dead-matter, so I would have to go about this a little more level-temperedly than before.

'Just wait and see, I will find out!' I thought as the people in front of my door walked away. One of them lingered a little while longer than the other, but then abruptly left.

I only now understood that Edward's brother had been planning on telling me their secret this very minute and lingered behind considering to confide in me. If only Edward hadn't caught him in the first place! I would have known by now which brother it was and I'd know the blasted secret!

I still cursed my bad luck when Charlie came to see me and while I endured my last visitors. Okay, there weren't too many of them because the hospital had a policy called '4 a day' that was usually dreaded; but very welcome to me in my current state of confusion and exhaustion. They made exceptions for large families, though. Since I didn't have a large extended family, this generosity luckily didn't apply to me.

Since Dr. Cullen had insisted on counting his son as a regular visitor and Charlie and Jacob had already visited, only one more visitor was allowed. So it was actually just one more visit that I spent pondering on the past argument. It was by a devastated Tyler. He said almost the same things Charlie had stated earlier, being: Tyler was an idiot, Tyler should be arrested, Tyler had almost murdered me, I was only alive through sheer luck and Edward's unbelievable courage (which he was glad about), he was so sorry.

I understood his urge to apologize. After all, I didn't want to be in his place. I'd rather have a leg injury and confusing thoughts about myths and the supernatural than live with his guilt. The other students and my father had probably already given him a hard time about the incident. Though I understood his concern and guilt, I couldn't take it any longer. So I settled on letting him off the hook about what had happened.

"Look, Tyler, I know you didn't do this on purpose. It was just an unlucky incident. It would have taken a Physics professor to calculate that your van would slip and spin right into the part of the parking lot where I was standing. You couldn't even see me in the pouring rain." When he tried to protest, I silenced him.

"Yeah, I know that you were being reckless with the new van, but don't go on the whole guilt trip because of it. I know that you never meant me harm and you hardly caused me any. I could as well have slipped on the wet lot, so don't worry. Please. I forgive you, so forgive yourself for my sake. Just don't ever drive like that again," I finished tiredly.

Surprisingly enough, Tyler did as I said. He nodded, his troubled face calmed down and he smiled. "My car isn't even damaged. It really is a wonder that nothing worse happened. You seem to have your own angel of protection."

'Named Edward? No, I don't think so. He was fate's tool, maybe.' I couldn't help but think sarcastically.

"Maybe you are right," I told him instead of sharing my thoughts.

With this being said, he apologized once again, but then left me alone. Finally I could rest! It wasn't long until I surrendered to a deep, dream-less sleep, even with all the confusion going on today. All the happenings had taken a toll on me. The most enjoyable part of the day had actually been the drive to school and when Jacob had visited me. He was always good company and seemed to know, somehow, when the time for serious conversation was and when I needed a bit of playing around or just a firm hug.

The rest of the day had been bad. The expectation of death, the attention, the leg injury. Immediately followed by the visits (which, though welcome, were taxing because I had to deal with guilt, concern and recounting the events too many times), mysteries without end and finally exhaustion. The argument with Edward and the discussion outside my room had been the last straw and too much for my brain to take in.

Who was the mysterious brother?

If I could find out, maybe I had a way of solving part of the mysteries. He seemed willing enough to talk to me if I asked him the right questions in a considerate way.

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